Realization of a College Senior

My first week in school was fun. I met my friends again. The professors are cool. We are back to learn and strive more. It’s all rainbow and lilies, until I get home to realize a fact. It’s the last year. My last year as a student. I am a college senior now. It’s scary and challenging. I am both thrilled and terrified. It is the moment in life when I start thinking about my next step.
 
Where am I heading?
 
To be honest, I never imagined that I would be where I am right now. When I was 5, I pictured my life a little different. My first dream was to become a teacher. Learning was so fun at a young age. I am curious about all things. I had many ideas that I wanted to share with the world. That’s why I thought teaching was the best fit for me. When I was 9, I wanted to become a writer. I fell in love with writing, and at that point, I decided that no matter where life takes me, I’m going to keep writing and inspiring other people. When I was 15 and faced with the big decision to enter college, I thought I could be a good architect. I wanted to learn architecture, but still, I had doubts.
 
Life happened.
 
Up to this point, I am still not sure how I have gotten to International Studies. I didn’t like history in high school because we only memorized stuff that were written in the textbook. The lessons were interesting, but the approach was quite difficult. I thought learning foreign languages is cool, but it’s not really necessary in life. Studying law and international relations was boring, and too much for a lazy kid like me. Me and International Studies, we’re like oil and water. We don’t mix well and we can’t come together.
 
I have never been so wrong in my life.
 
Little by little, my course intrigued me and my interests. It showed me what my strengths are. The things that I am actually good at, that I wasn’t aware before. Thanks to my professors and block mates, they made me realize the fun of learning something new. The things that were confusing before are becoming clear to me now. Choosing this field is part of God’s plan for me. Meeting all those people is a part of it, too. I am grateful.
 
 
It’s all part of a big plan.
 
How did I come to the realization that it’s all part of a big plan? I didn’t. I just wanted to believe that it’s all part of a big plan because it’s better than thinking that everything is a mistake. I mean, haven’t we all come to the point where we look back and reevaluate the decisions that we’ve made? If our choices were right. Then we overthink things and it start stressing us. We don’t run out of questions. It’s an endless mind battle with yourself.
 

“What if I don’t figure my life out? What if this is all that I am and all that I will become? What if 5 or 10 years from now I am still unsure of my direction in life?”

 
No one knows the answers, and that’s what scare us most. We are all making a big decision that’s going to decide the rest of our lives. What you should do is ask yourself,
 
 
“Why am I getting scared if the future is not even here yet?
 
You cannot take all huge steps at once. You can only take small steps, one at a time. But with will, determination and courage, those footsteps that you have taken will get you where you are headed. It might get sturdy and long, to the point of giving up, but if you keep walking ahead, eventually you will see the end of the road. The road that you have set for yourself. Taking the small step now is a good start, and that is enough.
 
 
 
My favorite quote in If I Stay that applies to my life
 
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5 Replies to “Realization of a College Senior”

  1. Slow clap. ���� it has always been hard for me to write about my thoughts, somewhat like a diary entry. Sobrang habang may sinusulat, may naiisip na agad. Then and there, di na ko makahabol. That's why i loved writing features, instead. But you are great with this. Ngayon lang ako nagbasa ng blog mo. Galing. �� cant see your rss. ��

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